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Funny, how on reflection I look at my parents and see them in a different light, when I look at the challenges I face being a parent.
Funny, how I appreciate the chance to look on my phone and play back videos of my sons in full flow whenever. Something which current technology has allowed us to have which our parents never did have.
Funny, how I appreciate being a single dad. Because when I have my boys its a 100% thing. No sharing, no ambiguity, no female hormonal interference in our male bonding times.
Funny, how I appreciate every moment I have with my boys because time flies fast, and before you know it they’re grown.
Funny, how mums sometimes fail to understand the love bond that a man has for his child / children
Funny, how the role of dads has changed over the years.
Funny, how my heart feels like bursting when any one of my 3 lil amigos say Dad, love you
Funny, how emotional writing this particular blog post makes me feel
After months of absence from the blogosphere, I tentatively find my way back to a world where expression, communication, self indulgence and sharing your voice has its own firm place.
Sitting here, I wonder how I ever distanced myself from blogging for such a long period of about 5 months? And in this very moment it dawned on me. Blogging is an outward process. A process where we share our thoughts with the world, and in the past 5 months I have been priviledged to have been an observer and inwardly reflect. Rather than focus on communicating with the world like I have done since as far back as I can remember, I have been communicating with self. Its been uplifting, enriching, educational, and a period of growth. Shutting out most of the outside noise and hearing ones inner voice has been profound.
In those 5 months Lil Maliq has gone from being a 23 month old boy to a 28 month old and the changes in him have been profound. Not like it wasn’t on the cards though. He did shock me when he looked at the clock last week and said its after 10 daddy. He shocked me because the time on the clock was actually after 10! He happily sings along to Rihanna, Jason Derulo and sings and dances to LMFAO’s I’m sexy and I know it and Party Rock http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZQIjd7ik9hs&feature=youtu.be
and has also become a dab hand at choosing his own games and playing them on my smartphones, as well as operating my Mac to watch his Cars 2, Madagascar and Ratatouille films.
So he’s gifted and talented (like anyone else can tell me otherwise), which is down to nature and nurture (genes and parenting), but he is just such a joy to watch, even when he’s trying to manipulate me or his mum. Its so hard sometimes trying to keep a straight face when telling him off, because it is sheer delight watching him in full flow. And he is just 1 of my 3, and they are the tonic, spirit uplifters and reasons to smile when I think of how priviledged I am.
So i’ve reflected, caught up in the process of querying my middle grade novel, and working on 4 other book projects. I’ve also been involved in the blossoming and unfolding of the growth of the littlest version of me. The inspiration of this blog, Lil Maliq. And its beautiful taking it all in.
Now, i’m back blogging!
Kian loves to point out how he is going to be 6 in 2 months, just after christmas. He also loves to point out, like many kids do, what he wants for christmas and for his birthday. Maxus Dragonoid, Dragonoid Collosus (for those that know about Bakugan)!
Knowing how active his imagination is I keep saying he probably would do well being a film producer, director, screenplay writer, novelist etc, so I ask him what he’d like to be when he grows up? He answers ‘an arkiwologist! proudly beaming from ear to ear? A what? I ask, an arkiwologist dad he repeats. Whats one of them I ask. Looking at me confidently and smiling he says, an arkiwologist is someone that finds dinosaur bones dad. Patting him on the head, I was cracking up with laughter but at the same time thinking, at least he’s got an idea, even if he has got the pronounciation wrong, for a 5 year old 🙂
Yesterday Shaq and I were watching a late morning interview on the box of one of the guys from the inbetweeners. In his new film he plays a university student, and at some point in the film he blurts out in the middle of a crowded space ‘I AM A VIRGIN’. Shaq looks at me with his innocent inquisitive eyes and asks ‘Dad, what’s a virgin?’ and added, ‘you’ve got virgin media dad, so what does it mean?’
Bearing in mind that only a few weeks ago we watched a programme where a woman was talking about her girlfriend, and he said ‘Dad, girls can’t have girlfriends can they?’ To which I replied yes they can, and then went on to explain to him about emotional relationships between heterosexual and same sex couples. His mum said, he’s only young and didn’t need to be told that yet, so this time in answer to his question about virgins I smiled and said ‘I think mummy would explain this one to you much better than I would Shaq’
So his mum turns up, and he asks ‘Mum, what’s a virgin? Dad said I should ask you’. She looks at him, smiles and says ‘someone who hasn’t kissed anyone before’ and adds ‘you should be a virgin till you’re 40. To which I countered, ‘not if I have anything to do with it’. Kian at 5 years old started jumping up and down ‘I’m a virgin, I’m a virgin’.
Lets just hope Kian doesn’t go into school this morning telling his teacher how he is a virgin 🙂
Apparently we are having an indian summer. The sun is streaming in through the blinds and its creating a greenhouse effect with the heat of the suns rays burning up my ear. The end of September and the temperature is in the mid to high 20’s. That’s just unexpected for this time of the year.
So in accordance with the sun and indicators of summer I look for ladybirds and butterflies. I haven’t noticed any, but it reminds me what Kian said a couple of weeks ago as I walked him back from school.
It was the first week back at school after the summer holidays and we were walking along the path, and in his innocence he said “Dad, there are going to be lots of ladybirdds in heaven”. Kian normally comes out with abstract thought, and I wondered how he came to such a conclusion so I asked him why, and his reply? “Cos lots of them get killed Dad!”.
Astounding what goes on in the mind of a 5 year old 🙂